Dec 2003

What you don't know doesn't hurt you right. Sure, its true and most tourists and climbers come and go from hampi without hearing anything about malaria. Why should the locals want to scare people away? It would be very bad for business, obviously. But I have a different and very inquisitive approach for a good reason, as I got a really heavy dose of malaria a few seasons back, and it really messed me up. I was robbed of all my power and energy for quite a long time and just because you've had it once doesn't mean you can't get it again. It's the opposite - you're more likely to get it!!

The last years it seemed things were getting better with less cases, but then things turned bad again with last year reaching almost epidemic proportions with 50% of local villagers getting infected. So on arrival in hampi this year I am asking all my friends how its been. One of the first people I see on crossing the river is my friend Rangaia from the hotel vijaynagaga. He is the last person I expect to hear this news from, "this year I get malaria" he tells me "how bad is this strain?" I ask as it can make a huge difference. "Very strong and bad, 20 days full sick!" he's telling me. I was surprised as he is such a robust and big fellow that I thought he was immune to everything and anything. But nobody is immune to this malaria especially not the very young children.........

So I'm walking down the road a few minutes later when I notice a familiar figure struggling along the road laden with shopping bags. I catch up as its my friend Raju from senapur, the village i used to live in 2 km down the road. When he sees me he dumps his bags on the road. "Hi pilloo will you please help me?" I grab the biggest bag and we walk together towards the main road. I'm asking about his family as I remember his wife being beautiful with very fit body also. But he looks very sad when he starts telling me. "We are so very best with me having good job and first child is a boy, we are so happy! But we get a big fever and very sick and baby is die only 5 months old". I was a bit shocked and wanted to put the bag down for a second (it was quite heavy). "What happened" I asked as we stood motionless for a second. "Malaria" he stated in a resigned way. "You know?" He doesn't expect me to even know about its existence as indians working in hotels are instructed not to tell about this to the extent of lying to protect the trade. "Yes I DO know" I tell him trying to sound sympathetic. It strongly reminds me............

Hampi 1998 April

Its my very old friend Shanker who is telling me the news about the beautiful young french girl who I had met a few days before. "One day coming very big fever but doctor is making injection and tablets for malaria as she looks like a typical case. But on the second day coming much worse they think to go big big hospital in Bangalore. On the third day she is dead! on the way and just 2 hours from bangalore", as it turned out it was meningitis they had misdiagnosed. The punch line was yet to come - "she was drinking bottled mineral water!". It seemed amazing that she died from this water borne disease when she was drinking bottled water. "How is it possible?" I enquired. "She is everyday bathing in the river for more than 20 minutes", oh well that would explain it then wouldn't it?! And the Irish couple, what's happened to them? "Oh the bastard doctor in Senapur is giving everyday 100 rupees injection but its not the real medicine and they DO have malaria so now big hospital going!". I'm furious about this "is it boil baba?" but he doesn't know my nickname for the doc which came out of a comic incident the year before......

Boil Baba, 1997

This time its our friend Manfred who is dying and he is lying on the table at mowgli restaurant groaning. The doc has arrived from senapur to try and help in some way. He looks terrible and ruthless but decides on a drip so starts setting it up. Its then that I notice his needle which is a disposable but has obviously been used lots of times as there are black rings up and down the metal spike. I try to tell the doctor but he is having none of it, "no problem" he barks at me, but I cant help thinking that it is a problem and try to get others to tell him also. "at least boil it first !" I ask him. "OK then" he agrees and a pan is set up for the purpose. When I get closer to the doc I realize his problem as the stench of arrack is unmistakable! So the pan is taking bloody ages to boil on this small twig fire and everybody is losing patience, the doc is twitching and looking at his watch every few seconds. Then comes his amazing and hilarious observation - "BOILED!" he exclaims. I look into the pan but there is barely even a few tiny bubbles rising on one side. This is in the time before the ground pump so it's a nice greeny coloured river water thats being used. "No please not yet ", I look at the doc but he is getting angry, "BOIL BABA" he shouts and starts removing the needle and tube to begin!! I wasn't happy about this at all and have noticed a straighter looking tourist who'd been sitting in the corner reading the whole time. "you don't happen to have a clean needle do you?", I asked nicely. "I do actually do you need it now?". I explained what was going on and he went to his room returning 2 minutes later with the new needle, "good" thats one thing "now!"

Everything is ready and bottle for the drip, just to get the connection to Manfred now. That's the docs job right? He was going for it but as the needle got closer to Manfreds arm I noticed just how much boil babas hand was shaking! He seemed to not to really know where to put the thing but pressed on regardless. The new and much sharper needle sunk way too deep and a terribly wrong angle. Manfred let out a sickly groan. He had completely missed the vein with no sign of blood in the tube, oh no, the next try was just as bad, and by the third try I couldn't bear to look anymore. Then Manfred got really pissed off.... "pil please help me" he is shouting. "what can I do ?" I ask him "YOU DO IT"

I was afraid he was going to say that. Boil baba was getting flustered now and had started sweating and mumbling to himself. He wiped his brow on his filthy lungi and for a terrible moment it looked as though he was going to wipe the needle on it, I got ready to restrain him if he tried! "you do it" Manfred said again. Then I was in action and had snatched the needle from the doc and started to look at the veins on Manfreds arm - "on the rose" he said. Just then 2 white T-shirt english laddo tourists walked right in to the cafe without noticing what was going on. Only when they had sat down did they really notice whats going on, they were presented with the scene... "on the rose" Manfred slurred again and I re-focused my attention on the tiny pulsating vein running straight through the tattoo of a rose on Manfreds forearm. Then the ridiculous and unthinkable happened. Just as I got the needle to within an inch of the vein Boil baba grabbed my wrist and jerked it away shouting at me in Telegu (senapur language). I was furious and deposited him to the floor in an instant. Really!! Then a voice to my left "c,c,c,coka cola possible" the tourist managed to stammer. "oh yes indeed" said a smiling gopal who's restaurant it is, he is wobbling his head and disappears to the kitchen. I looked at them, they looked shocked and disgusted like they wanted to leave but couldn't! "no more disturb" I announced and was perfectly composed. I slid the needle in getting the vein first time and everybody breathed a big sigh of relief.

I just couldn't believe how this supposed doctor had behaved but would soon learn more about cheating doctors in India except next time it would be me being the hapless victim...............

RISHIKESH and the KUMBAMEHLA 98

I was really excited about getting to this festival!! Especially as I'd just fallen from a roof problem a few days before and badly smashed my wrist (no pads then) making it impossible to climb for a few weeks. Its April and the khumba Mehla would be the ideal diversion with tens of thousands of sadhus and freaks all coming to hardwar near Rishikesh on the banks of the river Ganges. They said it would be the biggest gathering of people on this planet so far with 20 million to turn up. Gosh! I wondered if we would find a room if 20 million turned up!

Actually we did find a room albeit an underground prison cell in a huge ashram (concentration camp) with a lot of rules. We managed to break most of them on the first night! I was with my girlfriend Joolz and we would joke about it every time we broke a new one. Then the next day we prepared as it was almost time to go for the hugely auspicious "holy bath" and we would now see the festival in all its glory. We got dropped at some bloody checkpost miles away and started to walk with thousands of others in the direction of the ghats.

After about a km it hit me. The first fever attack had come from nowhere and set about fucking me up!! I was completely grounded at the side of the road and started to feel really cold!? That was a bit strange as it was a 40 degree day in the hot season. At that moment there was absolutely nothing I could do as I really couldn't move at all! Joolz kept telling me to move into the shade but I would never stand the cold there I was sure, the shakes had set in along with the cold sweat of high fever. This was my first experience of fever and I was having trouble understanding it all. All I could worry about was the night. I would perish in the cold for sure! If I felt so cold now how would survive a night when the temps dropped!!

There was a pharmacy down the road and Joolz returned with "antibiotics for fever". I was keen and necked it and hoped something would happen. Nothing did. I still couldn't move! I lay there in the same spot for the whole day, only when the night came did the fever start to die down. Thats how it runs this malaria as it retreats into the liver to regroup for the next assault. But I thought the antibiotics must have finally worked and killed whatever it was.

I was so relieved and thought I might actually make it though the night. We managed to sneak into a pilgrims tent complex and lay under blankets so nobody could see we weren't Indians. The next day we got to the Ghats in time for the holy bath and I was thinking it would surely clean me of whatever it was. But for me the whole festival was marred by this huge and I mean huge police presence. We would soon find out why they were here but meanwhile it was time for the next and even stronger "fever attack". It was hideous in the extreme. We were back in the prison cell at rishikesh but I couldn't stay in one position for more than a few second without getting severe cramps. The thing I remember most about this second attack was the headache which was of a mind-bending ferocity and totally unrelenting! Hour after hour it went on. Impossible to eat drink or even smoke without vomiting and I still didn't even know whats wrong with me.

Then it happened! Up till then while incapacitated I'd had my still healthy friend Joolz to help me but not any more. It had hit her as well so there we were, both incapacitated!!

A fever like this better wear off after 6 or 8 hours otherwise you will soon be dead. It was when it had worn off a bit I wandered outside and down the street. We are in the "holy bit" of Rishikesh which means there are a lot of veggie dhabbas, yoga ashrams, holy babas, holy cows, holy dung stores, holy general stores and generally everything holy is available there. So I'm walking past this holy pharmacy and it occurs to me that I should ask about holy medicine. The guy behind the counter is obviously a topmost holy pharmaceutical officer and he's not busy, so I start to talk to him. I told him about my condition, symptoms, etc and he says "I think you have malaria". I was shocked but willing to believe him "then can you give me the best and most correct holy medicine for that?" I ask. "well" he says, and pauses as if thinking really hard about it, "I can give you the medicine for that but the ayurvedic cure takes a long time to work maybe 1 or 2 weeks, for you its too long and if you go to a western chemical doctor you will be much quicker cured". It was really good of him to be that honest with me. What he was basically saying - my medicine is crap, get the real stuff!! I went back to the ashram to tell Joolz that maybe we have malaria but the holy cure is crap but it was too late. It was evening so we would have to wait until the next day before venturing over the river and to the unholy bit of the town.

The First Doctor

We were so weak that we just about fell out of the rickshaw in the commercial area of town. The dirt and ugliness of it hit me in a second and I tried to vomit but I was empty so couldn't. I saw a doctor surgery just nearby so we headed straight in there. It was a small waiting area but crammed with sick people so we had to wait for an age. We eventually got to see the doctor who was scowling and seemed harassed but told us to sit down anyway. He listened while we explained everything and I finished by saying that an ayurvedic doctor had said we might have malaria. He laughed at this "these ayervedic doctors are not knowing" he said, "you don't have malaria, just a viral fever " In my weakened state his certainty and authority was overpowering and I asked him what we should do. "I can give you the medicine that will cure this but you must take it - 2 of these, 2 of these and 3 of this at 12 o'clock, 4 o'clock, and 8 o'clock today, and then come back tomorrow! He presented us with brown paper packets full of different colour pills and told us to pay 150 rupees each and come back tomorrow. We left and sat on the street outside to have a drink and start to take some of the pills. "What do you think ?" I asked Joolz ". I think I feel like shit" she responded.

Dr Gupta

We were both a bit delirious but could still think. "I want a 2nd opinion, lets try another doctor" I said. A big sign was visible down the street about 100 metres away "Dr. gupta", lots of letters after his name, and it looked like a big important place. Lets have a chai and go there ....OK

The waiting room was bigger as well with just a couple of nearly dead old women hanging around there. It should be quick to see him then. It was even quicker as the old women were bypassed and we were sitting in front of the doc. Once again I explained to the doc everything and waited for his expert opinion. "this is not malaria" he stated emphatically - "but I can cure you in 3 days" was his promise, then he is counting a lot more pills into packets but suddenly stops........... "you like INJECTION?" he says and just at that moment a very skinny guy with one eye looking one way and one eye looking the other appears from behind a curtain as if on cue. His smile was crooked as well but he had a fully loaded 5ml syringe in his hand and his thumb was flexing on the plunger causing a few drips to leak out of the needle. I looked at Joolz. Her eyes had gone very big and her head was shaking like she wanted to say ..................... "no please no injection", it was me who said it. We collected the pills paid more money and left.

We were feeling really tired by then and needed somewhere to sit and chill for a while. There was this one place we knew in this area of town the "Neelam" run by a really friendly old Sikh guy who has been there for donkeys years and always says "beatles came here". I actually believe him! This day we are telling him about our woeful situation, "don't be trusting that Gupta fellow he's no good" was his advice "I know a very good doctor do you want his address?" We took it but it was now midday and hot so we couldn't move for a good while and just tried to drink this and that.

The new doctor was very busy so we would have to wait ages to see him. He listened to the story which now contained dr. Gupta, the other doctor, and the "beatles came here here" fellow as well. He gave me a quick examination and told us "Really we have to take blood tests even though I am 99% sure that you both HAVE got malaria. Its your swollen spleen which makes me think so" he wanted to be sure as there was a small chance of it being typhoid he said. I know that typhoid is a big problem in hampi as we had just been seeing our friend Gopal's wife moaning in pain and unable to move for days on end with this condition. He told us she had typhoid. We got the results in less than an hour and the doc told us "positive and very much so!!" so we would start the cure straight away which would be a huge wocko dose of chloroquine over 3 days then premaquine for 2 weeks to flush it out of the liver. It worked but like the doc had said we did get one last fever attack as the drugs started to work. Things got slowly better after that but I felt weak for some weeks following!

So we got to the truth. eventually! But if it hadn't been for our "beatles came here" friend would we ever had found it or just wandered delirious from one cheating doctor to the next then back to our prison cell to burn up, shake, and suffer endlessly??

That year we had stayed in Senapur a couple of km from the tourist area of the island which had very few westerners staying there just a few long term "cases" over the years. Just 3 weeks before I had initially moved there had been a problem in the village and 6 people had been murdered in one day which in a village of 1000 is quite a big event. When the big squad of police arrived that day they took 60 people (all men) into custody case pending! It was perfect! That's how I like my indian village. Only women and girls walking around it was very peaceful and quiet. No idiotic men lolling around like usual! I really enjoyed living there and had an excellent season for bouldering finding new areas all over the place. But there was this one bloody dog. It was really pissing me off and I mean REALLY pissing me off and I could never catch it so one day when it was sleeping ??????..

But that's another story anyway.